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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two green aliens on a spaceship. One comforts the other. "Come on. Cheer up, Borgus." Panel 2: Suggestions to lift his mood. "We could destroy a moon? ...or surf a black hole?" Panel 3: "Or we could party with our Earth friends." Both aliens perk up. Panel 4: A UFO beams up a mooing cow into a tractor beam. Through the window, the aliens are partying inside.

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6-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A woman walks past a bush. A voice whispers, "Hey, Pssst." Panel 2: The bush asks, "What's your blood type?" Panel 3: She answers, "A positive. Why?" Panel 4: The bush recoils in disgust. "Bleurch! Just walk away." Panel 5: The woman crosses her arms. "I want to know why!" Panel 6: A vampire emerges from the bush, furious. "I said walk, you tasteless pig."

Imagine an alternate universe where we couldn’t make comics and be forced to get a real job!

Trains would be crashing, pots would be exploding, and our patient would be flatlining on the operating table while we tested out our latest jokes on the OR staff.

By joining our Patreon you enable us to do what we do best: making you laugh week for week, come rain or shine, with our comics. Your support means we don’t have to get a real job, which saves hundreds – nay – thousands of lives each week. Amazing!

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: An industrial building with a glowing sign reads "Dams Inc.," smokestacks puffing behind it. Panel 2: A hugely muscular beaver kicks open the CEO's office door, flexing, and shouts, "Time for sweet payback!" as the startled boss yelps, "Ah!" Panel 3: The buff beaver grabs the terrified executive, cackling "Muahahaha" and declaring, "You like being spanked, Mr. Big Dam!" Panel 4: The scene cuts to a bedroom, where the sweating man lies awake beside his wife, who sighs, "Oh, honey, was it Buff Beaver again?"

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7-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A couple relaxes in a wooden hot tub when a "Plopp" rings out; the man asks the woman, "W-was that you?" Panel 2: She says, "What? No... someone must've..." as a small turd bobs in the water. Panel 3: Cut to a cheerful salesman in an infomercial: "Welcome to Turd in a Pool. Our service is simple," beside the number 1-800-TURD-IN-A-POOL. Panel 4: He explains, "We will discreetly place a turd in a pool." Panel 5: "Why, you ask? Why not?!" Panel 6: Pointing at the camera, he adds, "Don't ask how we do it. Just call our toll-free number and say Turd Now!" Panel 7: A branded Turd-in-a-Pool helicopter hovers over a house, lowering an operative on a cable to complete the job.

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: In an antique shop, a shopkeeper shows a customer a tall standing mirror and says, "This is our rarest piece: a magic mirror." Panel 2: He explains, "It reveals your deepest desire when you stand before it." Panel 3: In the mirror, a giant grinning worm creature coils around the blushing, sweating customer and coos, "Who's a naughty boy!" Panel 4: The unfazed shopkeeper reassures him, "Don't worry... most people see the worm."

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5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A tick stands at a podium like a spokesperson and says, "I think I speak for all ticks when I say: we get a bad rap." Panel 2: It complains, "It's always: Oh no, a tick! I got sick from that tick!" Panel 3: A glamorous butterfly with flowing blonde hair sits in the audience and asks, "Why don't you just fly around and look beautiful?" Panel 4: The tick stares back, deadpan. Panel 5: It replies, "Yeah, no. That sounds boring. We're gonna keep doin' that other stuff."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A waiter carries a martini on a tray toward a green car seated at a bar table and clears his throat, "Ahem..." Panel 2: He offers the drink, "This is from the gentleman at the bar." Panel 3: A hypnotised-looking deer sits at the bar nursing a glass of wine. Panel 4: The car's headlight-eyes droop wearily as it groans, "Not again."

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7-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Officer McSexy struts past the door with an exaggeratedly large behind. A police chief calls, "McSexy, get in here." Panel 2: McSexy enters the office. The chief says, "That BBL is against department policy." Panel 3: The chief asks, "How you gonna catch perps with a behind that big?" Panel 4: McSexy replies, "Chief, I got a secret weapon up my sleeve." Panel 5: McSexy looks over his shoulder, grinning. "Or should I say…" Panel 6: He turns around, revealing a concealed weapon between the cheeks. "Up my cheeks!" POW POW. Panel 7: The chief stands amid the destruction, impressed. "McSexy! You beautiful fool!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A pink worm stands at a podium before a crowd of insects. "Welcome to this year's Bug Conference." Panel 2: Close-up of the worm at the podium. "Firstly, the stick bug would like to remind everyone, they're not a coat rack." Panel 3: A stick bug stands in a spotlight, covered in hats, coats, scarves, and accessories hung on every limb. Panel 4: Close-up of the stick bug resigning: "Thanks, Janet."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper approaches a building labelled "FART FACTORY," saying, "Oh no. I knew this day would come." Panel 2: Inside the factory, surrounded by green pipes and workers in lab coats, the Reaper announces: "Sorry, guys. I'm here to take all of you." Panel 3: The workers panic. "Gasp! What was it?" One cries, "Ah, my kids…" Panel 4: The Reaper clarifies: "Leak in pipe 3. And Carl." Carl clicks his lighter, confused: "Huh?"