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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Slutty Witch walks through a supermarket on her phone, her black cat Lord Nibbles at her feet. She says, "Looks like everyone's a witch nowadays." Lord Nibbles jumps in his shopping cart. Panel 2: The vampire pushes the shopping cart while the cat jumps in it and says to the witch "You should be glad. Witches are cool now." Panel 3: The vampire happily says, "Just like sucking people off is cool now, too!" Panel 4: Lord Nibbles in the cart looks mortified. "You've GOT to stop calling it that."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man at a bar tells Slutty Witch, "You really need to find God." Panel 2: She looks irritated. "I do?" Panel 3: Slutty Witch walks through a dark forest at night, glowing eyes watching from the bushes. Panel 4: She sits on a log beside a massive pagan forest deity with antlers and a long beard who says, "I think you're doing great."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two green aliens on a spaceship. One comforts the other. "Come on. Cheer up, Borgus." Panel 2: Suggestions to lift his mood. "We could destroy a moon? ...or surf a black hole?" Panel 3: "Or we could party with our Earth friends." Both aliens perk up. Panel 4: A UFO beams up a mooing cow into a tractor beam. Through the window, the aliens are partying inside.

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6-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A woman walks past a bush. A voice whispers, "Hey, Pssst." Panel 2: The bush asks, "What's your blood type?" Panel 3: She answers, "A positive. Why?" Panel 4: The bush recoils in disgust. "Bleurch! Just walk away." Panel 5: The woman crosses her arms. "I want to know why!" Panel 6: A vampire emerges from the bush, furious. "I said walk, you tasteless pig."

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By joining our Patreon you enable us to do what we do best: making you laugh week for week, come rain or shine, with our comics. Your support means we don’t have to get a real job, which saves hundreds – nay – thousands of lives each week. Amazing!

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5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man wearing a fedora watches TV. The screen says, "Hey, you at home!" Panel 2: The TV ad continues: "Are you being held captive by a group of raccoons and forced to play in their free-jazz band?" with a call-now number. Panel 3: The man picks up his phone and dials. Panel 4: A raccoon hand zips the TV off with a remote. Panel 5: The man sits surrounded by raccoons in a messy room. One hands him a bass. A raccoon says, "Back to trombonin' Mike." Mike gulps.

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7-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Officer McSexy struts past the door with an exaggeratedly large behind. A police chief calls, "McSexy, get in here." Panel 2: McSexy enters the office. The chief says, "That BBL is against department policy." Panel 3: The chief asks, "How you gonna catch perps with a behind that big?" Panel 4: McSexy replies, "Chief, I got a secret weapon up my sleeve." Panel 5: McSexy looks over his shoulder, grinning. "Or should I say…" Panel 6: He turns around, revealing a concealed weapon between the cheeks. "Up my cheeks!" POW POW. Panel 7: The chief stands amid the destruction, impressed. "McSexy! You beautiful fool!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A pink worm stands at a podium before a crowd of insects. "Welcome to this year's Bug Conference." Panel 2: Close-up of the worm at the podium. "Firstly, the stick bug would like to remind everyone, they're not a coat rack." Panel 3: A stick bug stands in a spotlight, covered in hats, coats, scarves, and accessories hung on every limb. Panel 4: Close-up of the stick bug resigning: "Thanks, Janet."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper approaches a building labelled "FART FACTORY," saying, "Oh no. I knew this day would come." Panel 2: Inside the factory, surrounded by green pipes and workers in lab coats, the Reaper announces: "Sorry, guys. I'm here to take all of you." Panel 3: The workers panic. "Gasp! What was it?" One cries, "Ah, my kids…" Panel 4: The Reaper clarifies: "Leak in pipe 3. And Carl." Carl clicks his lighter, confused: "Huh?"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man on a candlelit date with Slutty Witch asks, "Did you just… come?" Panel 2: Close-up of Slutty Witch, flustered. "I did!" Panel 3: The man looks hopeful. "Because of my detailed analysis of the works of Quentin Tarantino?" Panel 4: Slutty Witch, sweating. "No, but I left my voodoo doll with my girlfriend."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: Two green-skinned Christmas elves in striped outfits and pointy hats sit in a room. One sits on a shelf, the other on a bed. The first says, "Damn. The off-season sucks." Panel 2: The elf on the bed perks up and suggests, "We could do the 'Bridge-Troll' thing." Panel 3: Close-up of the elf on the shelf, saying, "Or we could rob people." Panel 4: The two elves are now inside someone's home, stuffing stolen goods into a large sack. A ladder leans against the open window. One elf says, "Seems kinda ironic." The other replies, "Wadd'ya mean?"