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6-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A woman walks past a bush. A voice whispers, "Hey, Pssst." Panel 2: The bush asks, "What's your blood type?" Panel 3: She answers, "A positive. Why?" Panel 4: The bush recoils in disgust. "Bleurch! Just walk away." Panel 5: The woman crosses her arms. "I want to know why!" Panel 6: A vampire emerges from the bush, furious. "I said walk, you tasteless pig."

Imagine an alternate universe where we couldn’t make comics and be forced to get a real job!

Trains would be crashing, pots would be exploding, and our patient would be flatlining on the operating table while we tested out our latest jokes on the OR staff.

By joining our Patreon you enable us to do what we do best: making you laugh week for week, come rain or shine, with our comics. Your support means we don’t have to get a real job, which saves hundreds – nay – thousands of lives each week. Amazing!

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5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man wearing a fedora watches TV. The screen says, "Hey, you at home!" Panel 2: The TV ad continues: "Are you being held captive by a group of raccoons and forced to play in their free-jazz band?" with a call-now number. Panel 3: The man picks up his phone and dials. Panel 4: A raccoon hand zips the TV off with a remote. Panel 5: The man sits surrounded by raccoons in a messy room. One hands him a bass. A raccoon says, "Back to trombonin' Mike." Mike gulps.

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7-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Officer McSexy struts past the door with an exaggeratedly large behind. A police chief calls, "McSexy, get in here." Panel 2: McSexy enters the office. The chief says, "That BBL is against department policy." Panel 3: The chief asks, "How you gonna catch perps with a behind that big?" Panel 4: McSexy replies, "Chief, I got a secret weapon up my sleeve." Panel 5: McSexy looks over his shoulder, grinning. "Or should I say…" Panel 6: He turns around, revealing a concealed weapon between the cheeks. "Up my cheeks!" POW POW. Panel 7: The chief stands amid the destruction, impressed. "McSexy! You beautiful fool!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A pink worm stands at a podium before a crowd of insects. "Welcome to this year's Bug Conference." Panel 2: Close-up of the worm at the podium. "Firstly, the stick bug would like to remind everyone, they're not a coat rack." Panel 3: A stick bug stands in a spotlight, covered in hats, coats, scarves, and accessories hung on every limb. Panel 4: Close-up of the stick bug resigning: "Thanks, Janet."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper approaches a building labelled "FART FACTORY," saying, "Oh no. I knew this day would come." Panel 2: Inside the factory, surrounded by green pipes and workers in lab coats, the Reaper announces: "Sorry, guys. I'm here to take all of you." Panel 3: The workers panic. "Gasp! What was it?" One cries, "Ah, my kids…" Panel 4: The Reaper clarifies: "Leak in pipe 3. And Carl." Carl clicks his lighter, confused: "Huh?"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man on a candlelit date with Slutty Witch asks, "Did you just… come?" Panel 2: Close-up of Slutty Witch, flustered. "I did!" Panel 3: The man looks hopeful. "Because of my detailed analysis of the works of Quentin Tarantino?" Panel 4: Slutty Witch, sweating. "No, but I left my voodoo doll with my girlfriend."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: Two green-skinned Christmas elves in striped outfits and pointy hats sit in a room. One sits on a shelf, the other on a bed. The first says, "Damn. The off-season sucks." Panel 2: The elf on the bed perks up and suggests, "We could do the 'Bridge-Troll' thing." Panel 3: Close-up of the elf on the shelf, saying, "Or we could rob people." Panel 4: The two elves are now inside someone's home, stuffing stolen goods into a large sack. A ladder leans against the open window. One elf says, "Seems kinda ironic." The other replies, "Wadd'ya mean?"

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Panel 1: A black cat (Lord Nibbles) holds a TV remote and says, "Listen up! Today, I get to choose the movie." Panel 2: A vampire and a witch (Slutty Witch) sit on a couch under a blue blanket, each holding a bowl of snacks. Both say, "Fine." Panel 3: The TV shows "CAT TV" — a programme of colourful birds chirping "Peep Peep." The cat watches from the floor, thrilled, saying "That's the stuff!" Panel 4: The vampire says, "Aww, look how happy he is." The witch says, "Four hours?!" The cat leaps wildly back and forth in front of the TV, drawn with dynamic motion lines, giggling "Hihihihi."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: A grey Greenland shark swims in murky blue water. Yellow caption reads, "In the murky depths lives the elusive Greenland Shark." Panel 2: The same shark glides through dark water. Yellow caption reads, "Living up to 500 years, it roams the dark waters completely unbothered." Panel 3: A submarine appears with a small microphone extended toward the shark and asks, "How's the deep ocean treatin' you sir?" The shark replies, "It smells like FARTS!" Panel 4: The shark crashes face-first into the ocean floor, tangled in orange internet cables. It shouts, "And I keep tripping over these DAMN INTERNET CABLES!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: An operating room with surgical lights and a heart monitor. A patient – Slutty Witch in her witch hat – lies on the table and says to the surgeon, "Are you gonna rearrange my guts, Doctor Daddy?" A second medical worker stands in the background. Panel 2: Close-up of the surgeon in green scrubs, cap, glasses, and mask, looking uncomfortable under a spotlight. He says, "Um, its Doctor Smith." Panel 3: Slutty Witch starts grinning and moaning, "Hoohooo-haaa Doctor Daaaddy!" Panel 4: The surgeon turns to a colleague and says, "Why isn't she properly sedated?"