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6-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A woman walks past a bush. A voice whispers, "Hey, Pssst." Panel 2: The bush asks, "What's your blood type?" Panel 3: She answers, "A positive. Why?" Panel 4: The bush recoils in disgust. "Bleurch! Just walk away." Panel 5: The woman crosses her arms. "I want to know why!" Panel 6: A vampire emerges from the bush, furious. "I said walk, you tasteless pig."

Imagine an alternate universe where we couldn’t make comics and be forced to get a real job!

Trains would be crashing, pots would be exploding, and our patient would be flatlining on the operating table while we tested out our latest jokes on the OR staff.

By joining our Patreon you enable us to do what we do best: making you laugh week for week, come rain or shine, with our comics. Your support means we don’t have to get a real job, which saves hundreds – nay – thousands of lives each week. Amazing!

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5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man wearing a fedora watches TV. The screen says, "Hey, you at home!" Panel 2: The TV ad continues: "Are you being held captive by a group of raccoons and forced to play in their free-jazz band?" with a call-now number. Panel 3: The man picks up his phone and dials. Panel 4: A raccoon hand zips the TV off with a remote. Panel 5: The man sits surrounded by raccoons in a messy room. One hands him a bass. A raccoon says, "Back to trombonin' Mike." Mike gulps.

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7-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Officer McSexy struts past the door with an exaggeratedly large behind. A police chief calls, "McSexy, get in here." Panel 2: McSexy enters the office. The chief says, "That BBL is against department policy." Panel 3: The chief asks, "How you gonna catch perps with a behind that big?" Panel 4: McSexy replies, "Chief, I got a secret weapon up my sleeve." Panel 5: McSexy looks over his shoulder, grinning. "Or should I say…" Panel 6: He turns around, revealing a concealed weapon between the cheeks. "Up my cheeks!" POW POW. Panel 7: The chief stands amid the destruction, impressed. "McSexy! You beautiful fool!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: Two green-skinned Christmas elves in striped outfits and pointy hats sit in a room. One sits on a shelf, the other on a bed. The first says, "Damn. The off-season sucks." Panel 2: The elf on the bed perks up and suggests, "We could do the 'Bridge-Troll' thing." Panel 3: Close-up of the elf on the shelf, saying, "Or we could rob people." Panel 4: The two elves are now inside someone's home, stuffing stolen goods into a large sack. A ladder leans against the open window. One elf says, "Seems kinda ironic." The other replies, "Wadd'ya mean?"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A bird and an elephant sit at a bar. The elephant says, "Stop thinking about that jerk!" Panel 2: The elephant continues, "Don't you see the red flags with that guy?" Panel 3: A bull bursts in, wide-eyed. "Did someone say red flags?!" The elephant looks startled. Panel 4: The bull leans over the table and says, "I need to meet him." The bird and elephant look exasperated.

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A glowing blonde woman smiles radiantly. "Linda was beautiful." Panel 2: A long leg in a high heel stretches across the panel. "She had legs for days." Panel 3: An arm spans the frame. "Arms for weeks." Panel 4: Linda stands on a mountaintop like a goddess, arms spread against a sunset, with exaggerated proportions. "And breasts for years."

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper appears before an old lady knitting in her armchair. "It's time." Panel 2: She looks up cheerfully. "Time for what? Time for some cocoa?" Panel 3: Death facepalms. "Mrs. Schmidt..." She grabs her walker: "Time for some cookies and the new season of Bridgerton?" Panel 4: They sit on the couch together with cookies, cake, and Bridgerton on TV. Death protests, "We can't keep doing this, Mrs.—" She shushes him: "Pssst!"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper stands over a body, clipboard in hand, addressing a ghost. "Thanks for using our soul-reaping services." Panel 2: Close-up of the Reaper reading from the clipboard. "Would you say your experience was — Good, Great, Not sure." Panel 3: The ghost stares blankly. Silence. Panel 4: The Reaper writes on the clipboard. "I'm gonna put down 'Great.'"

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two sailing ships – one with red sails, one with black – approach each other on the open sea. Panel 2: Close-up of the ships' wooden figureheads reaching toward each other. Panel 3: The figureheads touch, reminiscent of Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam." Panel 4: A pirate with an eyepatch, peg leg, and pipe watches from the deck and says, "I ship it." while the figureheads are making out.

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4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A dog howls "Awoooooo" at the moon while Slutty Witch flies past on a broomstick. Panel 2: She stops and asks, "Did you just howl at me?" Panel 3: The dog clarifies, "No, I was howling at the moon. I respect women and their autonomy." Panel 4: The witch flies off with "Cool. Bye!" and the dog replies, "See ya."

This comic is available as a signed art print in our shop!