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4-panel-comic by War and Peas Panel 1: The slutty witch enters a kitchen where a vampire is baking cookies with a black cat (Lord Nibbles) assisting. The witch says, "Aww, you guys made cookies?" Panel 2: The witch looks at the cookies on the table, which have bone and skull shapes. The vampire smiles innocently while holding a tray of cookies. The witch says, "So cute!" Panel 3: The witch takes a bite of a cookie and says, "Hm... tastes a bit stran—." Panel 4: The vampire says, "The icing is blood!" Panel 5: Lord Nibbles, the black cat, adds, "And the filling is tuna!" while the witch looks disgusted and spits out the cookie.

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6-panel-comic by War and Peas Panel 1: A king sitting on a skull-decorated throne in a dark room says, "I'm in a bad mood. Bring the jester!" Panel 2: The jester says, "I'm also in a bad mood." Panel 3: The king angrily shouts, "Then it's OFF with your head!" Panel 4: The jester, trying to comfort the king, says, "Haha! I'm feeling much better already!" with a nervous expression. Panel 5: The jester does a silly, nervous dance, singing, "Doodlidoo!" with musical notes floating around him. Panel 6: The jester continues his silly dance and weird noises, "Blurgh!" while the king watches, amused, saying, "Hehehehehe."

NO to kings but YES to patrons of the arts! Help your favorite jester duo by becoming a supporter on Patreon!

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5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A female green goblin officer rides a broomstick, chasing a witch. She yells, “Stop!” under a crescent moon. Panel 2: The goblin says, “Do you know how fast you were–” before the witch interrupts, “Officer! I’m late for a date!” Panel 3: The witch, exasperated, sighs, “Do you know how hard it is to find a reasonable guy nowadays?” Panel 4: She continues, “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A PODCAST!” Panel 5: The goblin, resigned, waves the witch off: “Okay, GO!” as the witch speeds away into the night.

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4-panel-comic by War and Peas Panel 1: A ghost sits on his bed, watching TV, holding a mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows. It says, "Ah, Fall is upon us. Hot cocoa with marshmallows." Panel 2: The ghost is cozily tucked into bed, while it's dark and rainy outside. A black cat is curled up beside it. The ghost thinks, "Slow Sundays with rain against your window." Panel 3: The ghost, floating above a man eating at a table, barfs ectoplasm onto his food just as he is about to take a bite. The caption reads, "Barfing ghost barf onto food the second before someone eats it." Panel 4: The ghost floats happily above a farmer's market, holding a basket of apples. The caption reads, "Farmer's Markets!" Stalls with pumpkins and other autumnal produce are visible in the background.

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We’re doing something we usually don’t do by giving you a peek behind the curtains. This is the stuff our beautiful supporters usually get for keeping us financially viable enough to joking around.

Join the party and read the rest of the exclusive stories!

We definitely told our patrons this would stay exclusive, and now we’re essentially that friend who swears secrecy then immediately tells everybody your embarrassing story on the school yard. The guilt is consuming us like a shame-based brain worm. Our only chance is to make the next secret comics so hilarious that our supporters will forgive this betrayal – comedy so sharp it could perform its own appendectomy. Please don’t revoke our kneecaps!

Join the Party Now!

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4-panel-comic by War and Peas Panel 1: The Slutty Witch lounges on a couch with a bowl of snacks, wearing a hat with two beer cans and straws. She watches TV. Her vampire flatmate stands in the doorway and says, "I'm late for my Pen & Paper! Can you take me on your broom?" Panel 2: The Slutty Witch, still wearing her beer-can hat, still watching the TV says, "I'm watching the game." Panel 3: The vampire pleads with a desperate expression, "Pleeease! I'm playing a human office worker and I can't be late." Panel 4: The Slutty Witch gets up from the couch and says, "Fine. But the Guzzler stays on." The vampire goes, "Yessss!" The TV screen shows that she has been watching some sort of monster game.

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5-panel-comic by War and Peas Panel 1: Lord Nibbles, a black cat with wide eyes, holds a phone to their ear. Speech bubble: “You have to come home!” Background is solid red. Panel 2: A witch sits on a chaise, holding a phone to her ear, saying, “I told you not to call me at work.” An old man kneels in front of her, licking her feet with audible “Slurp” sound effects. Panel 3: Lord Nibbles, still on the phone, asks, “Remember the carpet you bought with the Ouija-Board design?” The witch replies, “Yes, so cute!” Background is split red and pink. Panel 4: Lord Nibbles’ eyes widen as he says, “Well, the Roomba summoned three demons with it!” The witch, unfazed, responds, “And?” Panel 5: The living room is filled with three demons sitting at a table. Lord Nibbles, still on the phone, says, “You have to lend me some money.” The demons appear engaged in a poker game.

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Panel 1: In a bug classroom, a praying mantis teacher points at a board sketch of Sisyphus rolling a boulder and says, “So, Sisyphus was doomed to roll the rock up the hill for all eternity.” Panel 2: A dung beetle student beams and says, “That sounds wonderful,” while a butterfly next to him listens. Panel 3: The butterfly replies, “It’s actually horrible.” Panel 4: The dung beetle still beams and says, “Ok. It’s horrible.”

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Funny 4-Panel-Comic by War and Peas Panel 1: A black cat named Lord Nibbles with pointed ears sits on a green cushion reading an orange magazine titled "Vampire Weekly." Lord Nibbles says "Ooh, the newest tips on how to get 'Fit For Summer'." Panel 2: A vampire character with fangs sits on the same couch as Lord Nibbles, wearing a purple shirt and holding a remote control with a bowl of snacks nearby. The vampire responds "Ugh, these fad diets are so silly." Panel 3: Lord Nibbles continues reading from the magazine and says "Eating a cyclist a month...improves stamina in the bedroom." while still holding the orange publication. Panel 4: The final panel shows an outdoor cycling race scene with a cyclist in green racing past a group of cheering spectators holding signs, including one that says "GO!" The vampire roommate stands among the crowd wearing sunglasses and holding a stick. Lord Nibbles says, "Wait for the stragglers."